network

i've been finding it hard to hold conversations with those on the net for a few months now, and i think it is mainly because i'm finding these conversations to be pointless. i don't want to live in an echo chamber, but i find that far more comfortable, and it promotes a healthier (or maybe just positive) mindset for myself. i feel heard in the chamber. a chamber filled of people with beating hearts.
i cannot wrap my head around the hate of the world. why do people care so much about the lives of others? and isn't it hypocritical of me to be saying these things? caring so deeply about the opinions of a stranger? i'd say so, but i'd rather be a hypocrite than an someone who actively takes the joy out of every single thing.

it is especially frustrating to talk to the terminally online. sometimes i feel like i was the only one who took the whole "touch grass" shit seriously. i really went out there and touched grass. i laid in it. i examined it. i frolicked across it. i cried into it.

there is a feeling of constant hazard on the net. that i'll be hurt. i'll be hurt by people who don't take the time to understand. the apathetic. the cynists. the pessimists. the nihilists. and of course, the "realists."
why the fuck would i want to be surrounded by all of that? to find a glimmer in a desolate plain? is it worth it? when there are so many glimmers looking me in the eyes? every day? taking me out to dinner? catching up over coffee and a biscuit? collecting shells on the shore? sharing a sandwich? why why why would i ever want to be surrounded by so much hazard?
the answer is because the glimmer is undeniable. no matter where i find myself, the glimmer is there. i want to touch it. to hold it close and nurture it. but the obstacles to reach it are making me feel unsafe and unwanted.

i think i'll stick to talking to real people who live in the real world and experience real life everyday. at least until it feels safe to tread in the vaporwaves once again.

i broke like three parts of my site last night but i was so tired i couldn't figure out what was wrong. turns out i'm just really bad at figuring out where div tags go. it was also pretty sick to be able to knock out a few things that were on my to-do list. with my current resources, my code is as condensed as i comprehend and page formats have been finalized, at least in my brain. coding it though?? ...
i need more time to work on my creations page since i have so many ideas. like what about little outing reviews? i love food review.. snack review... omfg. one day this place will be filled with all my yappings.

now for P. i've been so up and active that i've had no time to just sit and relax. but finally the weekend is here. that means i have at least a little more time to spend on myself. i want to be able to update my site, but i'm starting to rather hang out with people irl. i thought my retreat to the web was going to last a bit longer. i retreated to recoup. there were energy vampires around me that i allowed to get far too close. so i went back to the place that felt most comfortable. it's been truly therapeutic. now that i've recovered a lot of my strength, i'm excited to LIVE AGAIN

still, that big sad. it never truly leaves. but like mr. siffre says, 'the blues is always the same... give me your hand, i'll give you my mind. it's a fair exchange if you're deaf, dumb and blind. and we're sold out, well, that's what it's all about! '

long time no update! life has been throwing me some hoops to jump through. although i'm tired, you already know my ass successfully jumped through all those hoops with fervor and unprecedented swagger.

the first thing i wanted to do after settling in my new place was to update my site. if i'm updating my home i should also update my digital home, right? and i guess everyone in my digital circle was also feeling the creative juices coursing through their veins. it motivated me. it motivated me so much that i decided to do extra credit and create a button! it seems like most people don't have transparent site buttons, but the background looks stupid with the logo imo. anyhoo, if we cool, feel free to feature me on your personal site using one of the buttons in my about page. i made different color combos. thinking of making special ones for holidays.

i'm also planning on writing more 'philosophical' shit in the blog section, but for now it is an archive for main page posts. i also plan on adding recipes and reviews there. baby steps.

that's all for now. i'm exhausted. stay well, digital citizen!

what the frick is up? welcome to my site!
i was recently motivated to create this place by an e-friend. i tried understanding the basics, but i simply don't have it in me to learn the nitty and the gritty.

but the web doesn't have to be so inaccessible to plebs like me! i remember scrolling for hours trying to find the best profile codes. can't i do that for a personal site? me thinks i can.

this site is actually kinda old, but i haven't customized it much until now. i used to be literate enough to design pages, so hopefully, with exposure, i can build this site up. wish me luck!