network

i've found myself to be intertwined with the matrix. a truth to cringe at, but a truth none the less.
this deep sadness penetrates my heart. the point seems to escape me, but i believe it's because there is no one around who wishes to escape the point with me. the people i wish to be around don't even know what they want.

it's scary to be prey. to be alone out here.

maybe that's an exaggeration. to be prey.
but why do i weep so deeply? i ache in pain with every tear. i grit my teeth to reroute the stress. and a laugh escapes.

navigating this world as a woman has been complex. the bearers of beauty. the bringers of birth. the muses of all forms.

what a tragedy this all is!

they want this. they crave this.
but i AM this.
i LIVE this.
i refuse to give them any of it for such little in return.

let's look away from the magnifying glass though. just for a second. i am more than this. and i know you are too.
but clearly it can't be found in such shallow waters.
so why am i even here?

i'll even call the taxi to your place. in the case you admit it; that you don't want to fish here either.
though as expected, i pay the fee to change the destination. back to my place.
once i arrive, i'm greeted by the scent of sweet rose and dusty incense.
a loud, excited meow pierces my ears.

to think i'd rather spend my time any other way.
a laugh escapes.
i want to agree, but the provided alternatives are soul-splitting.

i'm sorry, i hope you feel bad. i hope you question it. i hope i stir something within.

i thought we were on the same page.
you say you want to escape. i'm already getting the fuck out of here.

"Frigid clouds of stardust weaving between fingers, sending shocks down the spine like a spat of aloe vera between shoulderblades
Heavy eyed passing rolled tobacco and jug of wine lavished by embers' warmth
Coiled next to weeping licks of flame our island of light closes in to pull me down to slumber
I wake to the roar of birdsong and pink petals hanging in the sky, clutched by pale arms reaching up over the horizon
Across the pit 2 young men sprawl on the sand, still sound asleep."

candlegr0ve - 12.26.2025